Aug 30, 2015

Random #1: Why Our Clothing Should Evolve Beyond Being Cut at the Middle of Our Bodies

There once was the toga. Philosophers worked those togas, as did empire builders...but at some point things changed, and clothing evolved to the separate pant and shirt, top and bottom combinations we all wear most days.

Clothing habituation has set in. When we live with certain norms long enough, we become complacent about questioning them.  Wouldn't you agree?  If someone introduced some of our most basic everyday garb as new ideas now, in this post millennial virtual digital new age, we'd laugh at them while exclaiming "so inefficient!"

Exhibit A:  The Men's Necktie: a chocking strap whose main purpose is to...what?  Hide buttons.

Haven't we evolved our space age fabrics beyond even the need for such outdated closure systems? buttons?  If you really think about them buttons are archaic manual latches, old fashioned methods of closing an article of fabric that at one time could never stretch over our huge heads and still maintain a tailored fit.  But now we have the technology; plenty of stretchy fancy spandexy...that's right "spandexy" smart get my point.

Exhibit B:  The Pants
Let's examine this scientifically and with fresh eyes:  rather than draping from the shoulders they start to hang from the middle of the body.  So they start...there!  There is usually a zipper to allow for access to the sexual and elimination organs...that cannot be accessed from below because each leg is sewn in...essentially.

They don't necessarily stay there on their own...
You may need to strap them on with a belt, to keep them from falling down, or you may choose to hang them from your shoulders with elastic-y suspenders.

If they droop, you may unconsciously alter your posture to keep them on (rather than risk revealing your most private parts, or even just a bit of a crack).  So rather than embracing the law of gravity we fight against it with these overly complicated methods of holding fabric on our bodies.  Maybe if we all stopped wearing pants we would experience a severe decrease in back problems!

Exhibit C:  Skirts...same as pants, usually minus the belt...

The solution:  

There are a few options...but basically anything that hangs from the shoulders or is one piece.  So we're talking about togas, dresses, or unitards...technically overalls could be included in the list, but in many ways that seems like a step backwards (I'm going to justify that bias by saying that overalls are too close to "pants with suspenders").

Unitards don't have to be the skin tight tard as seen worn by Deelight...but could be more like the "future" garb that was realized in Star Trek. In that somewhat idealized future they finally realized how ridiculous and outdated our clothing is that needs to be clasped and belted to stay on.

Embrace the togas, unitards, and dresses...yes guys too...I challenge you to dress from the shoulders down, and see how much better your body feels.

This topic is reminding me the ridiculousness of our heavy all day movement restricting Blazers! Perhaps I'll go into detail about that in a later post.